I woke up at 3:30 am with god awful back pain. This was not your typical back pain. I wake Mike up and let him know that this pain is not normal. I try and walk it out and call the hospital to let them know I am having all the symptoms. Their advice was to drink as much as I could in the next hour and if the pain does not let up to come in. Well, lets just say we left a little before 5 am because it was not letting up but getting worse.
Thank goodness the hospital is 10 minutes away; however, if you were to ask me it took an hour to get there. We arrive and I could barely get myself into the door. Luckily, there was a nice old man who wheeled me up to L&D as mike found parking. When I arrive I made sure to tell them that this is not normal and I am too early to be feeling this pain. They brought me into their little triage area and the doctor from Thursday asked me in a tone I could have kicked her in the face for, "What's happening, why are you here?" All I could manage to tell her was, "I don't know you touched me last."
She started to do an exam and with shock in her eyes she told my husband and I that we were 1cm dilated and in labor. My husband immediately asked if we could be sewn up and she said it was too late for that. We asked about the babies and she informed us that at 20 weeks babies are not viable outside the womb. I was having contractions a min apart, so my thoughts were not all there. I was almost already numb to anything and just wanted someone to take the pain away. They rolled me into a room and a nurse put an IV in me. We were told to wait for our doctor.
In the next two hours I waited for my doctor. Focusing on the pain and just breathing I asked for medicine, but was told again I need to wait for my doctor. At 7:30 am I remember looking at the clock and asking someone where he is, "he should be here in 15 min" replied one of the nurses. I couldn't believe that I had been there for almost 2 hours. You would think being in that much pain the time would have been so slow.
I remember seeing my doctor at 8:00 am and he was trying to tell me something. All I could get out was begging for medicine. He tried again to tell me that things are not looking good. well, I pretty much figured that out on my own thank you very much. He walked out again and I let Mike know that I felt the pressure to push and he made sure to run out and get the doctor. On his way in I felt a gush and proceeded to let everyone know that "I did it" and it was over. The doctor turned over the sheet and my water had broken. I was going to have to push.
Chase was born and then 4 min later Cayden was born. I gave birth to my boys at 20 weeks. They were born and then had no choice but to die. What happened? We were told that these things happen and we will never know why. There were no indications. We were told nothing could have stopped it.
Luckily, we were given the chance to stay with them and hold them, kiss them and say our goodbyes. These are the blankets the boys were put in after I delivered. I am so thankful I get to keep their little outfits and blankets :)
I called my parents and we decided not to tell them until they showed up. I would hate for them to drive two hours upset with the news. When they walked in and saw me holding the boys I will never forget the looks on their faces. My mom helped me dress the boys and tried her best to say the right things. My dad was beyond himself.
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