Do you have good etiquette? Do you have good infertility etiquette?

I just want to start out by saying I am completely guilty of not having infertility etiquette before we knew we had problems getting pregnant. I would not have thought twice about asking a couple married for a few years if they were planning on having children or asking a newlywed couple when they were going to start trying. Most people are not trying to be hurtful. Most people want to tell you something that they think will make you feel better and we, the infertility world, appreciate those that really do try to help us. However, there are the ones that just don't know any better and may not even know that women suffer from infertility and this is ok. Like I said, I am completely guilty! I feel my job since I have decided to be so open is to also give advice about infertility and educate those who are not aware of what infertility can bring.


This is where infertility etiquette becomes helpful. Here are some 10 do's and don'ts of infertility etiquette :)


10. Don’t Tell Them to Relax-  Ok, this is probably the one we hear the most. It sounds right and makes sense, however, for someone who is struggling with years of infertility we are pretty sure it is not because we are not relaxed.

9. Don’t Minimize the Problem- People have made the comment to me, "well, at least you get to get to do things like travel and take vacations." Really? That does not make me feel better, because going to disney world was fun and all, but I am pretty sure I would rather do those things with my children. Or, "well, just think you get time to yourself whenever you want." Really? this does not make us feel better. 

8. Don’t Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen- Sure, I could be killed, I could be kidnapped and tortured, but, to me, at this very moment in life, this is the worse thing that could happen. I can't make a baby with my husband without drugs.  I can't do what I was put on this earth to do. That to me is the worse thing.

7. Don’t Say They Aren’t Meant to Be Parents- If you say this you should just be punched in the throat...lol.

6. Don’t Ask Why They Aren’t Trying IVF- IVF is not for everyone. Not everyone has to go right to IVF depending on their diagnosis. It is a very expensive procedure and unless you are willing to help pay for this 15,000-20,000 dollar procedure don't expect it to be on everyone's checklist.

5. Don’t Complain About Your Pregnancy- I understand pregnancy is hard, uncomfortable and can be miserable at times. Just be mindful of who you say this to. Remember, there are people out there that are dying to throw up all day and pee on themselves when they laugh :).

4. Don’t Gossip About Their Infertility- This should be a no brainer!

3. Don’t Push Adoption (Yet)- Adoption is a great thing, but, again, VERY expensive. More expensive than IVF. A lot goes into adoption too. Home studies, evaluations, and a lot of uncertainties. It is very hard for some people to come to terms with never having a child of their own and usually someone's last resort after many years of trying.

2. Let Them Know That You Care- All we want you to say is "I am hear to listen." Ask us questions. We are not expecting anyone to have any words. There aren't any words. If you are religious, pray for us. If you are not, tell us you are thinking of us. You don't need to say anything more. It is very hard for some of us to come out and even talk to our people about it. Infertility is something that we are ashamed of. We can't do what every woman in the world can do. We can't do what a lot of mother's take advantage of. That 3 am wake up call that you dread, we envy. That explosive diaper that you are gagging through changing, we dream of. Watching your husband hold his baby for the first time and never knowing you could love something so much, we would die for.

1. Remember Them on Mother’s Day- Just reach out to someone and say you are thinking of them. That is all.

For those of you who know me know I am not trying to make anyone feel guilty. This is simply for awareness purposes. Just remember next time you talk to someone keep in mind they may be going through something that you may not be aware of. If you don't know what to say ask questions. We want to educate you and we want you to understand what happens in the infertility world.

Thank you for reading :)

Shannon W.

Starting my injections

And here we go...again. I would love to say I am excited to be starting the injections, but sadly I am not. We have done injections three times so far and I have conceived two out of the three times. I know this definitely may work which is great, but I also know how well they work. I am praying to God every day, a few times a day, that we are lucky enough to get just ONE baby this time. As much as I would love twins again I am beyond terrified.
So, as you all can see we did not conceive last month with no drugs. I am really sad because I ovulated on my own which is a really huge deal. Last week (Thur) we drove up to my parents house and low and behold "aunt flo" showed up early. Damn bitch never comes on time let alone early, and of course she came when I was 2 hours away from my fertility doctor. So, I call my BFF Katie at our doctors office and she let me know I needed to have blood work done the next day and an ultrasound on Monday. By the time I called my doctor I had 15 min to find a blood center in PA (before they close and the blood center closed), get my blood work done the following day and then sent right away to the doctors so they can rule out pregnancy (for those who don't know 30% of women bleed through the first trimester so it's protocol to have to rule it out even if you think you had your period).

Monday came around and the ultrasound and blood work showed that I was indeed not pregnant and I was told that we are in the clear to start injections. As you can see in the pic below these are about a month or two of my Bravelle injections. I will do a ratio of 3 powders to 1 saline solution starting lastnight (Monday) for 4 days and go in on Friday to see how my body is reacting and if we need to increase or decrease the dosage. The injections usually last about 10 days. Throughout the next week and a half I will go in for monitoring and blood work to make sure my body is reacting to the drugs and producing multiple follicles. Our hopes are the multiple follicles will produce a few eggs and out of that few 1 will take. Sounds so complicated, right?? If you can remember from one of my other posts I have a 75% chance of one egg taking and 25% chance of twins on injections.

I took my first shot last night around 8:30pm and woke up this morning already feeling extremely bloated and irritable. Mike came home and I complained about how bloated I was and the honest man that he is told me he can tell...Oooh Michael Allen you are so lucky I love you and your honesty. He should know better not to mess with an irritable wife who has to deal with sticking herself with drugs for half the month. So, for the next 10 days I will be wearing only sweatpants and not asking my husband if i look bloated.

For those of you who are following along I thank you for sticking with me and I will be sure to update with each visit to the doctor!