Feeling like a complete failure 2/28/12

Well, October 2011 we started the Clomid and it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be. This was our first cycle on fertility drugs and I think I was expecting the worst of the worst. With such a reputation, I thought my inner witch was going to come out for Halloween, but she didn't. The only crappy thing is we are not pregnant. Our doctor decided that next cycle we will be switching to a drug called Letrozole. The reason for the sudden switch after only one cycle is Clomid has a tendency to thin your uterine lining So, Letrozole it is. Lets jump ahead two cycles with Letrozole...they were all negative.

Our doctor asked if we were interested in the next course of action which would be to submit a post coital test. This is a controversial test because a lot of doctors don't feel it is 100% accurate. We were told to do the deed at midnight and come right back first thing in the morning. The doctor will take a sample of my cervix and check to see if any swimmers were alive. To put it lightly, my cervix was a war zone and there were no survivors.

The next plan of action is to do Letrozole with IUI. For those of you who are not familiar, IUI is insemination. This is a process of taking sperm, washing it and then injecting it passed the cervix directly into the uterus. How could this fail? the sperm wont have to go through a war zone (cervix) and will be dropped off right into the uterus. Sounds pretty simple to me!

Ok, so this plan did not work. I am still not sure how I am not pregnant. There are people who have sex once and BAM they are pregnant. I took out the sperm's death march, I took drugs to force ovulation....how am I not pregnant?

I guess we just need to try again.

I don't want to bore you with details, so lets just say two more IUI's with Letrozole and nada! How depressing. At this point I am feeling very much defeated. I have one job as a woman and that is the ability to get pregnant and I can't. Females of all species can have babies and I can't.

Doctor decided that now is a good time to introduce the dreaded injections. I am not a big fan of needles. However, if you have gone through fertility treatments of any kind you are pretty much over that fear. I swear I am at the doctors office for blood work more then I visit the food store, bank, post office any normal daily routines.