Busy week!

Ok, so we are 8 days post IUI (8dpoIUI)and surprisingly this week went really fast! Less than a week to go until the actual blood test. Am I having any symptoms?? Well, I looked in my old pregnancy organizer from last time and the same symptom I do have was burping, lol. Just so you know I am not a burper! The only time I burp is when I drink soda which is not a lot.  Also, the progesterone the doctor prescribes plays with your mind when it comes to symptoms so I am not getting my hopes up since I know how hard it is to think your pregnant and get the negative, so I am just taking it with a grain of salt. Def better to remain positive though, right? I went yesterday morning for the blood work that is required one week post IUI and my estrogen and progesterone were a little on the low side so the doctor prescribed me supplements to boost my levels. One thing I did forget was how the progesterone when taken orally gives you that "I had a few too many glasses of wine before bed" feeling. Just happy I didn't operate any heavy machinery after taking it :). So, I will be on those pills twice a day until they tell me to stop.

I don't know if it's the sun shining, the birds chirping or the extra hormones but I am doing ok!  I should be really sad though.The boys would have been full term this week :(.  I should be hiding in bed not wanting to face the world but I am ok. One thing I do all the time, and I am curious if anyone else does it, is I always wonder where I would be right now if they were still in utero. When I am walking the dogs I think to myself, "would I be outside right now walking the dogs if I was still pregnant?" "Would I be on bed rest right now?" "would I have been bopping around still shopping or would I have been complaining and begging for them to come out?" lol.  I am also getting passed the bitter phase. I have been able to hear about pregnancies without that sad "why does everyone else to get pregnant but me?" thought pops up in my head. This is a huge step. Maybe it's because I know we started treatment and it's only a matter of time before I will get pregnant again and will be able to look towards the future.

As I was driving home today I heard Kelly Clarkson's "stronger" play on the radio and it has been my anthem for the last 3.5 months. Have you ever heard a tragic story and thought to yourself, "OMG if that ever happened to me I would just die." Or, " I can't even imagine what that person is going through. How are they going to go on?" I am sure you think it all the time. Well, I want you to know that you do go on. You overcome everything. You can choose to let it defeat you and you are allowed to be sad, but you do go on. After the boys, I seriously thought I was going to die. My heart hurt so bad, but the days passed and you find strength.  We have been seeing our CG Chaplin almost weekly since January and the last time we saw him he said something I will truly have to thank him for. He told me how inspiring I was for not giving up and jumping right in and not letting this defeat me; However, he also told me that I need to find something else to focus on that's for me. At first I was mad he said that. How can I focus on something else? I am willing, for as long as it takes to sacrifice my body to treatments until we have that healthy baby. So far I have spent three years as a science experiment. Always taking medication, Always getting blood drawn, my ovaries have been the size of ping pong balls. I have put off my career and traveling because it interferes with treatments. Never able to lose weight because the meds just continue to bloat you up and make it almost impossible to workout without the fear your ovaries might burst from being jumbled around your insides. I am willing to endure it. Wouldn't you do anything for your kids and family? If this is what it takes than I am going to do it. But, I also remembered I am a human and have dreams and desires too. We got home from that appointment and Mike told me to find a school in Manhattan for makeup certification and go. Find one that is only a few months or weeks and go! So, as of Monday of next week I will be a full time student for 4 weeks at Chic Studios NYC. I will finally be a certified Makeup Artist! For those of you that know me really well this has been a passion since middle school. One that I have always been scared to do, but I am focusing on me this time.

So, feel free to leave a comment and let me know what was your major symptom for pregnancy and if you have had multiple pregnancies did it continue to be your main symptom each time!? Looking forward to hearing from you.

Thanks again for reading,

Shannon!