This week is the week...

This week is a love/hate week.  I  am so excited that we are a little more than half way through a twin pregnancy, but this is the week I lost the boys last pregnancy. I am trying to remember the days leading up to the delivery.  I remember being very uncomfortable and baby A was in my pelvis causing pain when I walk and just didn't feel right. This time around, this week, I am feeling fantastic. I feel like the babies have moved up and this is what pregnancy should feel like. I am able to walk, stand etc without being in pain. This has only happened within the last week. Hoping it sticks around :) I am sure drinking a gallon a day has helped too.

Of course I can't help but feel fear though. Mike and I have been looking at mini vans and the reason we are hesitating is because we don't want to make a purchase too soon God forbid something happens. I remember last November, not quite 20 weeks, we were sitting at a dealership hearing all the good end of year incentives and almost making the decision to purchase.  I, usually the impulsive one, normally wouldn't have thought twice getting the van that day, but for some reason I told Mike we needed to wait incase something were to happen. I swear, something told me to wait. So, this time around is no different. However, in order to get the best deals we may have to make the purchase in the next month. I guess it is just the roll of the dice this time :/ .  

LOL, and remember last post how I mentioned I wasn't gaining any weight, well we are on our way. I gained four pounds in the last 2 weeks making it a total of 12 pounds which is not bad at all for 5 months and twins. Mike is def enjoying seeing my belly grow and has no problem showing a protein shake down my throat when he thinks I need the extra calories.  He made the comment a week ago, "I love seeing you get big." I didn't know whether to hit him or hug him. Either way he loves me and we both just want these babies to thrive so whatever it takes :) 

Thank you all for reading. If you pray please keep us in your prayers and if not, just think of us and hope for the best. 20 weeks!! whoo hoo :)

Here is the latest pic.  

Shannon

I feel like my anxiety is fading...yay!!

I am happy to announce that my anxiety has faded quite a bit. I am still a nervous wreck everyday, but it's not to the point where I am panicking. Both my high risk and my ob have agreed to see me weekly and I am feeling very reassured that things are good. We went to the high risk doctor on Tuesday to see if I needed to do the cerclage and happy to announce I do not need one as of yet. The sonogram showed no blood flow to the area they were concerned about so right now we are good. I am still advised to take it very easy, no lifting, no intimacy and not to over exert myself. I do believe the reason things have been so low key is because I have been keeping my feet up and keeping all walking to a bare minimum. I find that when I do walk for more than 15 min I do feel a lot of pressure in my lower abdomen and that is my cue to rest.

 I am reading my multiples book and according to my BMI and having twins I should have gained 15 pounds by now but for some reason I can't gain!!! The only time in my life I can't gain weight when I need to. I am only up 6-7 pounds and almost 5 months. According to this book in order to keep the babies a good weight if born premature is to put on a healthy weight now. Well, of course my dilemma is I can't gain weight! Go figure!

I also saw a plastic surgeon for the basal cell carcinoma I have on my shoulder and the plastic surgeon advised that I should wait until after the babies are born to remove it. However, my dermatologist feels that I should have this done before hand, but one thing at a time! If things start to look a little better in the next month or so maybe I can squeeze in a quick outpatient surgery to have it completely removed. If not, I promise I will make time to have it done after the twins.

For those of you who did not know Mike auditioned for the show Million Second Quiz and made it on live tv last night! I was so proud. Even though I think the questions he got were not even educated questions. He still did good :) He is still a winner in my book!

I started a blanket, finished half a word search book, starting a new book, beat several levels of candy crush. I am doing good! :)

Thanks for reading!!

Shannon

In the life of one on "rest"

Bed rest chronicles Day 2

Well, it has been two days on rest. I will admit it I do get up to empty the dishwasher, shower, vacuum, tiny bit of cooking but then it is right back to the recliner. I have been told to drink a gallon of water a day and let me just tell you that it is very hard to maintain rest when you have to pee every 15 min.  The puggles don't seem to mind I am on bed rest. I think in their little puggle brains it reassures them that it is indeed ok to sleep 18 out of the 24 hour day and not feel guilty. 

One thing that is very hard to deal with is my attention span is that of a fruit fly and finding ways to keep busy is hard. I try to break up my day how I used to do it at work. I break up the day into hours. Wake up at 8am and from 8-9 eat breakfast, browse FB, check email, watch the today show. 9am-10am maybe some candy crush until it tells me that I have to wait another 15 min before I can make another attempt at completing the level which, if you play, know how torturous that is!  Browse Pinterest to see what is "hip" these days and pin hundreds of recipes I will probably never make. Realize that Pinterest made me hungry and grab a snack on the way back from my third potty break since I woke up. 

At 10am I try to watch Hoda and Kathy Lee but start to realize my brain cells are diminishing from the pointless crap they mention on their show. 11am I watch the view which hurts my brain even more because it is nothing but five women talking at the same time and trying to get their opinions out before the next commercial, so I am prob attempting another shot at Candy Crush.

Noon I start to scavenge for lunch. Sandwich, leftovers, cereal this could be a very hard decision for the day. Lately it has been turkey and cheese on a Kaiser roll with kettle cooked potato chips IN the sandwich and a nice glass of milk. Back to the recliner...look out the window...see that the news has taken over and one can only take so much torture in the world so I scan the channel for some other program that probably has some rich person complaining of the problems in their life. I do believe yesterday I fought the temptation but put on the Kardashians and it was the episode of wanting to cook the placenta and feed it to the family members as a surprise and I quickly learned that my poor children will never have good old fashioned TV sitcoms the way we did growing up and that in itself, is a very sad sad concept to grasp.  

I find that from 1-3pm is the hardest. I have hit my limit of sitting in the recliner and peeing every 15 min so I attempt to crochet my blanket. I can't even tell you how many times I get going and get about 1/4 through it and realize I messed up somewhere and have to start from the beginning!! This is almost as frustrating as candy crush! :)

Mike comes home and I am sure I stare at him like a dog that just seen his owner after being left home in a crate all day. I begin to interrogate him about his day and want to know everything that happened, what was discussed at work, what he did at work, where he ate lunch at work etc... I am dying for conversation. Not that I REALLY care what he does at work, I mean I do, but you get what I am saying. You can tell the poor guy just wants to get changed, sit on the couch, catch up on shows he has missed and prob not talk to anyone until after dinner but I am an attention whore and I now understand why when we walk in the door the puggles will dance around, bring us their toys, sit right in front of us and stare at us uncomfortably until we cave in from guilt and roll around on the floor with them for a few minutes. I GET IT!!

So, folks, this is rest. I will embrace it and enjoy it. I will learn to make it work as long as it means my babies are doing well! Please do not fault me for writing pointless blogs every few days as it will help my boredom and most importantly sanity :)  As for the picture below, I am pretty sure if you saw me right now I would closely resemble this kitty. Hair has air dried into a frizz mess :)

Shannon!

Lord give us strength....PLEASE!

 Hey there,

I am not going to lie when I say I have been on pins and needles for almost 17 weeks now. I knew jumping back into fertility and possibly getting pregnant again with twins would be very nerve wracking. In my mind, you just think, "don't worry what happened happened and you are in good hands now and the doctors know what they are doing." I am so thankful I have the doctors that I do now because I am about 100% sure nobody else could successfully get my babies here safely like Dr. Kofinas can.

I am asking for strength because today at our 16 week appt the nurse saw a polyp. The nurse phoned in our high risk doctor who was at the other location today and he was able to pull up our scan and observe everything. He asked if I had experienced any bleeding and luckily I have had no prior bleeding and that is a good thing. Usually, women don't find out they have a polyp until they start spotting. This is not a life threatening thing, but if this grows bigger it could trick the cervix into thinking something is happening resulting in preterm labor. I am to go back next week unless I experience bleeding and other symptoms and Dr. Kofinas himself will take another look. As a precautionary he may want to put in a cerclage so that the cervix doesn't open.

The nurse asked if I am currently working and luckily we had decided with this pregnancy the best thing to do would be to stay home and take it easy. In these situations they tell anyone who is working to go on disability and stay on bed rest. So, I am on modified bed rest until next week when we go back and if the cerclage is necessary it will be possible I will be on bed rest til the babies come.

Well, this wouldn't be a complete visit if I didn't start crying in the office so I did. The nurses reassured me that we are in the best hands and everything will be fine. I know that is what they are supposed to say, but all I keep thinking was the possibility of giving birth and having to watch two more babies die within arms reach again. Sorry, that was a morbid description, but that is what we had to do and I refuse to go through that again.  I ask God if he could just give me strength, patience and a more positive outlook that would be great. I haven't even googled yet what goes into getting a cerclage and I am possibly thinking of keeping it that way. Just the thought of them stitching my cervix scares the hell out of me. What happens if I tear through it? Can they put you to sleep when you are pregnant in order to put it in? ugh.  I know it will be the best thing for us, but it just sounds so painful! 

On a positive note, the babies were looking great and they are just so adorable. They are measuring 6oz each and very active.

So, again, please if you pray keep us in your prayers and if you don't just think about us and wish us the best!

Thank you all again for making it this far with us <3

Shannon and Mike

14w4d and some updates...

Hey everyone!

It has been a little while since the last update, but I figure no news is good news, right? So, in the last couple of weeks we finally decided to switch insurances and now see a doctor that is affiliated with Methodist Hospital and works with our High Risk doctor.

We found out today at our 14 week appointment that I will be having a c-section no later than 38 weeks so hopefully I will make it close to that.   Also, I have placenta previa which I have had the whole pregnancy, but they were just reminding me to take it easy and to possibly expect some bleeding if I do too much. So, I will be taking it upon myself to take it even more easy than I have already been :). Let's just say I am getting very bored and need some new hobbies.  You can read about placenta previa here

I am still struggling on how to deal with my emotions and keep in a good place. I feel like it is deja vu all over again with the boys and trying to just stay in a good place. The nurse laughed today because the babies heart rates and weight were exactly the same and she said you don't normally see that. Well, mike and I laughed to ourselves because the boys heart rates were always the same and when they were born they weighed the same amount. Ironic, huh?

So, please continue to keep us in your prayers as we reach each week with these little beans and if you have any creative hobbies I can do from my recliner I would love new ideas :) Any books, websites, puzzles etc..

Thanks for reading!!

Shannon

It's official....I am going crazy...

If you know me well you know that I am a worrier by nature. Everything gets me nervous and I will dwell on something until I go insane.

I am not sure what is worse right now, the pregnancy symptoms that I am having or the sheer paranoia that something is wrong. I have been told countless times that the constant sickness I am feeling is a positive thing and is proof things are progressing well. BUT, the other part of me is every "twinge," "gas bubble", "dull ache" sensation in my stomach has me running to the bathroom 20 times a day not to pee but to see if something bad is happening. This is exhausting. I am up right now at 2:00am because of little gas bubbles in my belly and extreme hunger pains. I am not hungry! My appetite has been non existent and forcing myself to eat has become the norm. I am so happy to be pregnant, but I can't shake this constant concern that something is going to happen. At this point, this pregnancy is going to be the longest 6 months and 2 weeks of my life!!

Our insurance issue has been a nightmare and after weeks of fighting to try and get the doctors that we want  I have since decided to go back to my old OB who delivered my boys and who did all that he could, but now I am back at the hospital I hate.  I talked with my OB and had to make sure that he is ok working with my high risk doctor and they (or he rather) will be on the same page when it comes to certain things that may have to happen in this pregnancy.  I need to keep positive that what happened is going to be prevented and that we are 100% sure we know what happened last time. But, I still have that fear that 20 weeks is going to come along and I am going to be going through the same thing. I am at the doctors about every other week and I just want confirmation everyday that their little hearts are still flickering along on that screen.

I need to start doing some meditation or some breathing exercises to calm my mind. I lay in bed with scenarios in my head and have to remember to pray to god and breathe. Everything is out of my control. I need to be a safe haven for these babies and keep my head in a good place. I just wish it was easier said than done. 

8w4d Appt Today

Hey there,

We are currently 8weeks 4 days along and everything is progressing normally. Since last time I blogged I have been prescribed a few new meds and found out that I am anemic and vitamin D deficient. My daily regimen of meds is Lovenox, Metformin 2x, Metenx, Iron supplements 2x, Vitamin D and Prenatals. I have to say I am not a pill person so this has been tough trying to remember to take numerous pills at different times throughout the day. The shots have definitely gotten better. The burning is not as bad and the bruising is almost non existent...thank goodness. The nurse today did mention the possibility of a cerclage in the future as a precautionary and that scares the crap out of me. It is not set in stone as of yet, but  if I am going to have one, this is the doctor to do it. So, praying we don't need one. I can deal with one less thing to have to worry about.

 This pregnancy so far has been so different from my last. Maybe I am having girls, lol. I have a very low appetite and I am not able to keep much down. I would describe it as a constant hangover everyday.  Hopefully, the second trimester will be better :)

At our appt today they saw I have a small blood clot which was the reason for a little bit of spotting last week, but nothing to worry about. I am RH- http://www.justmommies.com/articles/rh_negative.shtml so I will have to go back tomorrow to get the shot that will prevent my blood and the babies blood from mixing. On a good note, they were squirming all around in there. They are directly side by side and the heartbeats were around 171bpm :)

We finally found an OB that will take our insurance and delivers at Methodist hospital. We have been trying to find an ob that does both for almost 4 weeks now. We have been told numerous times to contact our local congressman because it is a total outrage how many doctors in this area do not take the military insurance. We just found out that our fertility doctor will no longer be taking our military insurance as well and we were his last patients with Tricare :( 

Thanks for checking in :)

Shannon