Lord give us strength....PLEASE!

 Hey there,

I am not going to lie when I say I have been on pins and needles for almost 17 weeks now. I knew jumping back into fertility and possibly getting pregnant again with twins would be very nerve wracking. In my mind, you just think, "don't worry what happened happened and you are in good hands now and the doctors know what they are doing." I am so thankful I have the doctors that I do now because I am about 100% sure nobody else could successfully get my babies here safely like Dr. Kofinas can.

I am asking for strength because today at our 16 week appt the nurse saw a polyp. The nurse phoned in our high risk doctor who was at the other location today and he was able to pull up our scan and observe everything. He asked if I had experienced any bleeding and luckily I have had no prior bleeding and that is a good thing. Usually, women don't find out they have a polyp until they start spotting. This is not a life threatening thing, but if this grows bigger it could trick the cervix into thinking something is happening resulting in preterm labor. I am to go back next week unless I experience bleeding and other symptoms and Dr. Kofinas himself will take another look. As a precautionary he may want to put in a cerclage so that the cervix doesn't open.

The nurse asked if I am currently working and luckily we had decided with this pregnancy the best thing to do would be to stay home and take it easy. In these situations they tell anyone who is working to go on disability and stay on bed rest. So, I am on modified bed rest until next week when we go back and if the cerclage is necessary it will be possible I will be on bed rest til the babies come.

Well, this wouldn't be a complete visit if I didn't start crying in the office so I did. The nurses reassured me that we are in the best hands and everything will be fine. I know that is what they are supposed to say, but all I keep thinking was the possibility of giving birth and having to watch two more babies die within arms reach again. Sorry, that was a morbid description, but that is what we had to do and I refuse to go through that again.  I ask God if he could just give me strength, patience and a more positive outlook that would be great. I haven't even googled yet what goes into getting a cerclage and I am possibly thinking of keeping it that way. Just the thought of them stitching my cervix scares the hell out of me. What happens if I tear through it? Can they put you to sleep when you are pregnant in order to put it in? ugh.  I know it will be the best thing for us, but it just sounds so painful! 

On a positive note, the babies were looking great and they are just so adorable. They are measuring 6oz each and very active.

So, again, please if you pray keep us in your prayers and if you don't just think about us and wish us the best!

Thank you all again for making it this far with us <3

Shannon and Mike