Really trying to not have a "woe me" moment :(

Last night was the second time in two weeks we had to go to L&D for contractions. The first time was easy peasy. I walked in, they hooked me up and "looks like your dehydrated, so we will fill ya up." After that contractions were gone and  I was sent on my way. This time, I woke up yesterday morning after feeling fantastic for two weeks after the last hospital visit, not feeling right. I waited out the day because I figured you are going to have yucky days here and there in pregnancy. Mike got home from work and I was still in bed "just not feeling right." No appetite, upset stomach all day, 100 0z of water and tightness in the stomach and back pain that came and went. So, we called the doc and to be on the safe side he sent us back to the hospital.

We arrived and was hooked up again to the contractions monitor and it was showing contractions so they decided to go ahead and start another IV for more fluids. Well, jees, I already downed 100 oz that day, how the hell am I dehydrated? Nurse blew my vein and that in itself was horrific and luckily the other hand had better luck. Doctor checked my cervix and it is still nice, closed and long. Checked the babies and they are active. One liter down and still contractions. So, they do another and another. By 4 am I had 100 oz of water and 3 liters of IV fluid and still having minor contractions. I asked the nurse why this happens, and of course she mentioned dehydration and UTI which I obviously was not dehydrated and all my tests came back clear for any infections. So, what else?  She responded with twins. Sometimes your uterus can become irritable because of the fact you have twins in there. I made sure to hit her with questions like, "well, do you see this happen a lot? Women coming in here in my situation at 21 weeks with the same thing and go on to have full term twin pregnancies and she reassured me yes."  However, when you have my history you automatically go to the thought of, "this is it! I made it only a week or so passed the boys loss and i am going to suffer another loss." I am trying so so hard to not let my mind go down that path. She told me to keep my feet up, drink tons of water and to come back if there is anything worse than what I am feeling or even if I just want more reassurance. 

How do I go home knowing I am having contractions every couple of minutes and have to decide which ones I think might be worth going into the hospital for. The good and bad is the contractions are minimal and brief but still there. Obviously, if they get longer and more intense I will go. It is just the fact that it is happening this early. If God forbid something did happen right now what will they do?  Will they try to give me something to stop the contractions or at least delay them? Mike and I need to talk with our OB to find out what his plan of action is in the case we start having strong contractions leading into labor. The only good thing right now is that nothing else is happening. Please Lord is all I can say right now. I am begging anyone who will listen to me to just let me bring my babies home. I kept telling Mike I have been strong, but I don't know how much stronger I can be if something happens to these babies.  

Sorry to be a a spaz in this blog, but these are my feelings and I am doing my best to just stay positive and strong, but with that comes a lot of uncertainty. Please keep us in your prayers. If you have pray warriors please spread the word for them to pray for us. If not, please just think of us often. 

Shannon