In the life of one on "rest"

Bed rest chronicles Day 2

Well, it has been two days on rest. I will admit it I do get up to empty the dishwasher, shower, vacuum, tiny bit of cooking but then it is right back to the recliner. I have been told to drink a gallon of water a day and let me just tell you that it is very hard to maintain rest when you have to pee every 15 min.  The puggles don't seem to mind I am on bed rest. I think in their little puggle brains it reassures them that it is indeed ok to sleep 18 out of the 24 hour day and not feel guilty. 

One thing that is very hard to deal with is my attention span is that of a fruit fly and finding ways to keep busy is hard. I try to break up my day how I used to do it at work. I break up the day into hours. Wake up at 8am and from 8-9 eat breakfast, browse FB, check email, watch the today show. 9am-10am maybe some candy crush until it tells me that I have to wait another 15 min before I can make another attempt at completing the level which, if you play, know how torturous that is!  Browse Pinterest to see what is "hip" these days and pin hundreds of recipes I will probably never make. Realize that Pinterest made me hungry and grab a snack on the way back from my third potty break since I woke up. 

At 10am I try to watch Hoda and Kathy Lee but start to realize my brain cells are diminishing from the pointless crap they mention on their show. 11am I watch the view which hurts my brain even more because it is nothing but five women talking at the same time and trying to get their opinions out before the next commercial, so I am prob attempting another shot at Candy Crush.

Noon I start to scavenge for lunch. Sandwich, leftovers, cereal this could be a very hard decision for the day. Lately it has been turkey and cheese on a Kaiser roll with kettle cooked potato chips IN the sandwich and a nice glass of milk. Back to the recliner...look out the window...see that the news has taken over and one can only take so much torture in the world so I scan the channel for some other program that probably has some rich person complaining of the problems in their life. I do believe yesterday I fought the temptation but put on the Kardashians and it was the episode of wanting to cook the placenta and feed it to the family members as a surprise and I quickly learned that my poor children will never have good old fashioned TV sitcoms the way we did growing up and that in itself, is a very sad sad concept to grasp.  

I find that from 1-3pm is the hardest. I have hit my limit of sitting in the recliner and peeing every 15 min so I attempt to crochet my blanket. I can't even tell you how many times I get going and get about 1/4 through it and realize I messed up somewhere and have to start from the beginning!! This is almost as frustrating as candy crush! :)

Mike comes home and I am sure I stare at him like a dog that just seen his owner after being left home in a crate all day. I begin to interrogate him about his day and want to know everything that happened, what was discussed at work, what he did at work, where he ate lunch at work etc... I am dying for conversation. Not that I REALLY care what he does at work, I mean I do, but you get what I am saying. You can tell the poor guy just wants to get changed, sit on the couch, catch up on shows he has missed and prob not talk to anyone until after dinner but I am an attention whore and I now understand why when we walk in the door the puggles will dance around, bring us their toys, sit right in front of us and stare at us uncomfortably until we cave in from guilt and roll around on the floor with them for a few minutes. I GET IT!!

So, folks, this is rest. I will embrace it and enjoy it. I will learn to make it work as long as it means my babies are doing well! Please do not fault me for writing pointless blogs every few days as it will help my boredom and most importantly sanity :)  As for the picture below, I am pretty sure if you saw me right now I would closely resemble this kitty. Hair has air dried into a frizz mess :)

Shannon!

Lord give us strength....PLEASE!

 Hey there,

I am not going to lie when I say I have been on pins and needles for almost 17 weeks now. I knew jumping back into fertility and possibly getting pregnant again with twins would be very nerve wracking. In my mind, you just think, "don't worry what happened happened and you are in good hands now and the doctors know what they are doing." I am so thankful I have the doctors that I do now because I am about 100% sure nobody else could successfully get my babies here safely like Dr. Kofinas can.

I am asking for strength because today at our 16 week appt the nurse saw a polyp. The nurse phoned in our high risk doctor who was at the other location today and he was able to pull up our scan and observe everything. He asked if I had experienced any bleeding and luckily I have had no prior bleeding and that is a good thing. Usually, women don't find out they have a polyp until they start spotting. This is not a life threatening thing, but if this grows bigger it could trick the cervix into thinking something is happening resulting in preterm labor. I am to go back next week unless I experience bleeding and other symptoms and Dr. Kofinas himself will take another look. As a precautionary he may want to put in a cerclage so that the cervix doesn't open.

The nurse asked if I am currently working and luckily we had decided with this pregnancy the best thing to do would be to stay home and take it easy. In these situations they tell anyone who is working to go on disability and stay on bed rest. So, I am on modified bed rest until next week when we go back and if the cerclage is necessary it will be possible I will be on bed rest til the babies come.

Well, this wouldn't be a complete visit if I didn't start crying in the office so I did. The nurses reassured me that we are in the best hands and everything will be fine. I know that is what they are supposed to say, but all I keep thinking was the possibility of giving birth and having to watch two more babies die within arms reach again. Sorry, that was a morbid description, but that is what we had to do and I refuse to go through that again.  I ask God if he could just give me strength, patience and a more positive outlook that would be great. I haven't even googled yet what goes into getting a cerclage and I am possibly thinking of keeping it that way. Just the thought of them stitching my cervix scares the hell out of me. What happens if I tear through it? Can they put you to sleep when you are pregnant in order to put it in? ugh.  I know it will be the best thing for us, but it just sounds so painful! 

On a positive note, the babies were looking great and they are just so adorable. They are measuring 6oz each and very active.

So, again, please if you pray keep us in your prayers and if you don't just think about us and wish us the best!

Thank you all again for making it this far with us <3

Shannon and Mike

14w4d and some updates...

Hey everyone!

It has been a little while since the last update, but I figure no news is good news, right? So, in the last couple of weeks we finally decided to switch insurances and now see a doctor that is affiliated with Methodist Hospital and works with our High Risk doctor.

We found out today at our 14 week appointment that I will be having a c-section no later than 38 weeks so hopefully I will make it close to that.   Also, I have placenta previa which I have had the whole pregnancy, but they were just reminding me to take it easy and to possibly expect some bleeding if I do too much. So, I will be taking it upon myself to take it even more easy than I have already been :). Let's just say I am getting very bored and need some new hobbies.  You can read about placenta previa here

I am still struggling on how to deal with my emotions and keep in a good place. I feel like it is deja vu all over again with the boys and trying to just stay in a good place. The nurse laughed today because the babies heart rates and weight were exactly the same and she said you don't normally see that. Well, mike and I laughed to ourselves because the boys heart rates were always the same and when they were born they weighed the same amount. Ironic, huh?

So, please continue to keep us in your prayers as we reach each week with these little beans and if you have any creative hobbies I can do from my recliner I would love new ideas :) Any books, websites, puzzles etc..

Thanks for reading!!

Shannon

It's official....I am going crazy...

If you know me well you know that I am a worrier by nature. Everything gets me nervous and I will dwell on something until I go insane.

I am not sure what is worse right now, the pregnancy symptoms that I am having or the sheer paranoia that something is wrong. I have been told countless times that the constant sickness I am feeling is a positive thing and is proof things are progressing well. BUT, the other part of me is every "twinge," "gas bubble", "dull ache" sensation in my stomach has me running to the bathroom 20 times a day not to pee but to see if something bad is happening. This is exhausting. I am up right now at 2:00am because of little gas bubbles in my belly and extreme hunger pains. I am not hungry! My appetite has been non existent and forcing myself to eat has become the norm. I am so happy to be pregnant, but I can't shake this constant concern that something is going to happen. At this point, this pregnancy is going to be the longest 6 months and 2 weeks of my life!!

Our insurance issue has been a nightmare and after weeks of fighting to try and get the doctors that we want  I have since decided to go back to my old OB who delivered my boys and who did all that he could, but now I am back at the hospital I hate.  I talked with my OB and had to make sure that he is ok working with my high risk doctor and they (or he rather) will be on the same page when it comes to certain things that may have to happen in this pregnancy.  I need to keep positive that what happened is going to be prevented and that we are 100% sure we know what happened last time. But, I still have that fear that 20 weeks is going to come along and I am going to be going through the same thing. I am at the doctors about every other week and I just want confirmation everyday that their little hearts are still flickering along on that screen.

I need to start doing some meditation or some breathing exercises to calm my mind. I lay in bed with scenarios in my head and have to remember to pray to god and breathe. Everything is out of my control. I need to be a safe haven for these babies and keep my head in a good place. I just wish it was easier said than done. 

8w4d Appt Today

Hey there,

We are currently 8weeks 4 days along and everything is progressing normally. Since last time I blogged I have been prescribed a few new meds and found out that I am anemic and vitamin D deficient. My daily regimen of meds is Lovenox, Metformin 2x, Metenx, Iron supplements 2x, Vitamin D and Prenatals. I have to say I am not a pill person so this has been tough trying to remember to take numerous pills at different times throughout the day. The shots have definitely gotten better. The burning is not as bad and the bruising is almost non existent...thank goodness. The nurse today did mention the possibility of a cerclage in the future as a precautionary and that scares the crap out of me. It is not set in stone as of yet, but  if I am going to have one, this is the doctor to do it. So, praying we don't need one. I can deal with one less thing to have to worry about.

 This pregnancy so far has been so different from my last. Maybe I am having girls, lol. I have a very low appetite and I am not able to keep much down. I would describe it as a constant hangover everyday.  Hopefully, the second trimester will be better :)

At our appt today they saw I have a small blood clot which was the reason for a little bit of spotting last week, but nothing to worry about. I am RH- http://www.justmommies.com/articles/rh_negative.shtml so I will have to go back tomorrow to get the shot that will prevent my blood and the babies blood from mixing. On a good note, they were squirming all around in there. They are directly side by side and the heartbeats were around 171bpm :)

We finally found an OB that will take our insurance and delivers at Methodist hospital. We have been trying to find an ob that does both for almost 4 weeks now. We have been told numerous times to contact our local congressman because it is a total outrage how many doctors in this area do not take the military insurance. We just found out that our fertility doctor will no longer be taking our military insurance as well and we were his last patients with Tricare :( 

Thanks for checking in :)

Shannon

I think God is really trying to tell us something...

Today was our first ultrasound and nervous didn't even describe how I felt. I woke up in the middle of the night in a hot sweat and my blood pressure was 140/60. The doctor was running late and I swear every min felt like another hour going by. The doctor came in and he showed us one little heartbeat :). Moved the ultrasound wand over a smidge and there was another strong little heart beat. I want to lie and say how happy I am, but with my history and the boys I cried like a knocked up teenager seeing a positive on a pee stick...lol. I want to be pregnant and I am so happy, but I can't help but fear what happened last time.

The doctor reminded us to not share with the world because there is a 1/3 chance that one twin will vanish and there will only be one baby next time. I laughed when he said not to share with the world, because I am pretty sure there is not one person in this world that doesn't know our story. What the hell, I have come this far I need to keep you all in the loop and I need all those extra prayers from you all.

I called my mom in tears and her excitement was just what I needed. She gave me a huge, "That is so exciting!!!" followed by "STOP CRYING!" lol. It's amazing how at 28 years old my mom can still grind her teeth in a threatening way and I swallow my tears like I did when I was 5 years old.

I am excited. I want my twins more than anything. We prepared for them last time and it would only feel right to bring twins home. All I ask is when you say your daily prayers you think of us and that we make it til Christmas. 32 weeks is the magic number.

Thank you again for reading :P

Mike and Shannon

First doctor appt :)

Hey everyone,

So, Monday we repeated the blood work and my levels rose just as I expected. We went from a beta level of 222 on 14dpo to a 1328 on 18dpo. Everything looked good! The new high risk doctor's office called and told us to come on in today. However, I was not sure why we would be going in. I know you don't even see a gestational sac on the screen until after 5 weeks and a heartbeat around 6 weeks. We took a chance and there was one gestational sac. They were also checking to make sure everything else looked good and wanted to discuss more medication for my diagnosis. The nurse was actually surprised to see anything.I did ask if there was anymore sacs and she repeated that she was surprised to see even one so there is def a chance that by week 6 there could be another one floating around in there.

The doctor came in and went over our situation reminding us that since my mom and dad both passed down the MTHFR genetic abnormality (believe me, I made sure to call them and let them know I am very upset :)  I will be taking Metformin and Metenx along with the Lovenox injections. Since I carry the gene from both sides my body does not break down any folic acid so that is where the Metenx comes in to play. Metformin is a diabetes medicine sometimes used for lowering insulin and blood sugar levels in women with PCOS. This helps regulate menstrual cycles, start ovulation, and lowers the risk of miscarriage. HOPEFULLY, with all these drugs and high monitoring we will be fine.

Mike and I left the office feeling as if I need a personal assistant. Appointments every week between the OB and high risk doctor until we have a baby, 1 injection a day, 2 pills a day, 1 twice a day and my prenatal. This is going to be tough. Oh and the doctor asked if we are having any issues with the lovenox injection and we have noticed that with these injections it takes a bit more force to get the needle through my skin and I am bruising like crazy. He said the generic brand Lovenox needles are more dull than the brand name and this is a huge complaint. Well, thank you tricare for not approving the brand name and sticking me with dull needles for 35 weeks :).

I am not complaining. I am more than happy to do whatever it is I need to do to sustain this pregnancy :). I thought I would keep you all in the loop and our next appt with the fertility doctor is next friday and that will be the ultrasound to see some heartbeats. We are very excited. Thank you all for keeping up with us!!!